I’m such a prude about this kind of thing. I have plenty of miles on my sex-odometer but still can’t or won’t do the degradation-talk thing.

A friend and I were trying to find a new song to work on performing together. We found a good sound with “Piss up a rope” by Ween, but I just couldn’t get any vocal punch on the line that advises the big booty beyatch to commence sucking. Like my autonomic nervous system wouldn’t let my diaphragm work properly.

Yet I am filthy in my casual speech among friends? It’s not speaking of sex acts that make me go cold, it’s specifically the degradation talk that my whole system seems to rebel against.

My poor lovers, it’s probably like receiving kind and gentle directions to perform filthy acts on my body directly from Fred Rogers.