I found out a few Christmases ago that I really love gingerbread houses. I used to build scale models in grad school and got really into it. Gingerbread houses are like that but without grades or measuring. My weekend plans are to order trash pizza, put on Home Alone, drink some weed sodas, and decorate gingerbread houses til I’m too stoned to hold a piping bag.

I also love that it is cold and I can snuggle my husband to suck up his warmth and make him yell when I touch him with my cold toes. 😈

I definitely use more than I need. #Privileged

I look really young. Like I’m 40 but routinely pass for early 20s or even late teens if I do my makeup with that aim.

I get carded buying alcohol a lot. I hated it until I was about 27, and it really started to make me feel great! Especially once my gray hair started growing in (I dye it regularly so nobody really sees them, but I know they’re there). If all you’re trying to do is guess how old I am from how I look, I will love your answer.

But people often judge my experience or expertise as if I am only as old as I look when I am really twice that age. I hate when people assume I’m the office assistant or new hire when I’m the Assistant Director. I had physical therapy for several months due to a chronic shoulder injury, and the old ladies there loved to tell (not ask) me that physical therapy must be so easy for me as if my joints aren’t fucked and my pain and effort aren’t real. Still pisses me off so much.

And don’t get me started on the creepy old guys who see legal jail bait…eugh.

Traffic Jam.

It’s got a bunch of different berries and rhubarb sometimes. Slovacacek’s on I35 outside Waco makes the best.

Donating to just about any charity is a noble cause! I’d also suggest establishing scholarships with educational organizations you like and, depending on the size of your estate, consider endowments that ensure continued support to those organizations.

My cat has to sniff the can of cat food after I dump it out in her bowl so she can decide if it’s worth the 4 steps it’ll take to get to the bowl. She’s a cat, she can smell the food in her bowl from less than a foot away. But if she doesn’t get to sniff the can, it might as well be poison for all she knows.

For real; what the hell?

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Working out and exercising will help boost your seratonin and dopamine levels AND make you too tired to ruminate much at bed time.

I’m hosting Thanksgiving this year. I’m so psyched to show all the old crones in the families how to do a proper holiday. I have so many fucking garlands in my Amazon shopping cart. Need another paycheck or two before I can pull the trigger.

I use it around my hairline before I color my hair so as not to stain my skin.

Preach. Tell your boss I said everybody needs to be in bed by 11. I’ll write you a note. 👵

It is not. If everybody would just go to damn bed, maybe it would be quiet out. 👵

Get in bed by 11. I don’t care what you do once you’re in there. 👵

Get blackout curtains. 👵

Everybody should be in bed by 11pm, midnight on the weekends. Nothing good happens after that. Get your beauty sleep.