Don’t you call me pal, buddy!

Especially if you eat some stale ones

That is always a possibility. The only av currently existing that is free is clamav - there are multiple gui frontends for it since it’s really meant for servers and stuff - I’ve mainly seen people use it to scan files before you send it to a windows user tho so not much use unless you need to do that

I’ve had no issues running with hetzner, and of course you can install software on a hetzner server? You have full root access to the server… Well buyvm is a good option too if you can snag one - get a 3.50 a month vps and get a 5 dollar storage slice for 1 tb of storage on it is a good option and it’s cheaper than librecloud and you get a whole server

You can always get a hetzner auction server with spinning disks and get like 8 tb for like 37ish bucks if you are lucky