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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • My coworker had a full hysterectomy in her late 30s for the same reason and she’s described it as basically a living hell for about a year. Just a complete nightmare where she felt like her body completely turned on her and she had no control over anything it was doing - hearing about it made my attitude about keeping my ovaries much more enthusiastic. BUT she was pretty much fully through menopause after that year, so the good news is that your wife’s situation is likely pretty temporary. The bad news is that a year can feel like much longer when things aren’t going well, and I’m guessing she can’t do any hormone replacement to ease her symptoms because of the cancer risk. I did keep my ovaries and I’m still having some hormonal nonsense (pseudo hot flashes are not making me real optimistic about the real thing, let me tell you), so I can only imagine how much that sucks.

    The thing is, you’re probably not actually doing anything wrong, it’s just a total tsunami of fuckery in her body atm that’s making her feel that way. I would suggest marriage counseling, because it’s possible that a neutral third party can help your wife see that, even though she’s not totally in control of her body or feelings right now, she still doesn’t get to make you feel like shit and she might end up destroying a relationship she still wants once she’s past this stage. There’s no easy solution, though, it’s just everyone putting their heads down and pushing through it, unfortunately.







  • frickineh@lemmy.worldtoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml***
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    4 months ago

    I haven’t used it for personal stuff in years. My employer uses it for office supplies, so I’ve occasionally ordered work stuff, but even that is as little as possible, and only things where it won’t matter if the quality is just so so, because you can’t trust that you’ll get the real thing anymore. Plus, I don’t want to sift through 10k listings of sweatshop garbage to find the thing I’m looking for.


  • I always did, but I pretended like I was above it for a long time. I think it felt uncool to care about that kind of thing? I don’t know, I was insecure. Now that I’ve run out of fucks, my house is really colorful and I love it. Beige everything makes me wish for the sweet release of death. Depending on how old your kids are, they might be going through a similar phase, and maybe they’ll outgrow it too.


  • Many years ago, I worked in a call center. I was sitting with someone who was new helping them take calls and both of our headsets were plugged into the phone. The trainee was helping a store employee and she was just being awful to him. While she went to get something from the customer, I muted the line and said, “God, what a bitch!” except my finger was hovering over the button and I hit it just in time for her to hear me say bitch. I fully panicked and hung up on her. Nobody ever said anything to either of us and this was back when landlines would occasionally cross, so hopefully she thought that’s what happened since she hadn’t heard my voice up until then.

    Anyway, I’m pretty sure that’s the origin of why I still don’t trust mute or hold to this day. I’m not talking shit until I know that call is disconnected.


  • Oh I’m the opposite - I’m not a very good cook because I don’t enjoy doing it. I’m pretty good with flavors because I’m not afraid of seasonings, but my knife skills are bordering on Worst Cook in America levels. The abuse I have wrought upon poor, innocent, delicious onions is a crime.

    Also, if you like the fried onions, have you seen the jalapeno version? So good. I’ve started putting them on everything.


  • frickineh@lemmy.worldtoMemes@lemmy.mlMaster Chef in the making
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    5 months ago

    I’m the worst about this. My mom and I will try a new restaurant and I’ll be talking about “oh this needs acid, that’s the perfect amount of heat, blah blah.” Meanwhile, I’m over here “cooking” noodles with a pile of kimchi every other day because that’s all I ever have in the fridge.




  • I’m from CO and dating here is terrible. It wasn’t so bad in my 20s, but doing it in my 30s has been almost entirely shit to the point that I’ve given up, and so have a lot of other people. I love the state, don’t get me wrong, but it’s expensive and the single men seem to have formed some kind of mediocrity pact. The last woman I dated went from witchy pagan to hijab-wearing Muslim convert for a man she’d met in person once, so I haven’t had better luck on the queer scene either.

    That said, joining queer spaces wherever you end up is a good way to dip your toes in the water without feeling the pressure that an explicitly dating-oriented site/activity might cause. Join clubs, go to bars, whatever. If you meet someone that way, it’ll likely feel a lot more natural.



  • I mean, you can, but most people who prioritize those things aren’t going to want to make a multiple hour drive to get there. It sounds like they’re not your priority in the way I meant if nature is the more important thing. For me, I enjoy nature, but it’s more important that I can get the groceries I want (which are very hard to find outside of bigger cities), or go to the zoo for a couple of hours without having to plan it a week in advance.