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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 10th, 2023

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  • I’ve got a “father figure” who I’m not on speaking terms with. I’m in my early 30s. I am also a father. I have also tried to keep the door open and have been punished for it.

    This is the part where I give you advice, but I don’t really have any. You’re not alone. Our generation had a large shift away from believing that respecting your parents meant that you had to do everything they said. Some people simply don’t comprehend that respect must be earned. I will make sure that I deserve the respect of my child.










  • Speaking of pillows. I forget what brand I have, but I’m sure there are a bunch that make the same general thing. I was annoyed that I had to fight with every pillow I had to keep it from becoming a flat piece of cardboard. 8 years ago I bought pillows filled with shredded memory foam. They came with the stuffing separately so that I could fill my pillow up myself. It’s the best pillow I’ve ever had, and it hasn’t gone flat at all after many years.

    So, shredded memory foam is the way to go.


  • My wife and I have known each other for almost 10 years now, since our first date in our early 20s. We’ve only been married for 4, and we have a kid.

    She is also an alcoholic, but luckily for me she turned it all around. The previous commenter is on point with everything they’re saying. You can’t help her until she fully internalizes that she needs help.

    I think the turning point was when I realized I couldn’t do it anymore. I had to go through all of the stages of grief before I accepted the possibility of our relationship ending if she didn’t take steps to address her problems with alcohol. Then I realized that by trying to “be there” for her I was instead creating an environment where she didn’t need to change. So the most supportive thing at that point that I could do was to be firm and tell her that her last chance was up. I made it clear to her that I still loved her, but that I could not continue with the relationship as it was. And I told her that I’d be there if she wanted to come back after she took steps towards recovery.

    I got lucky, but you need to be prepared for this relationship to end in order to save it. At some point forgiving her becomes almost selfish. I didn’t want to loose the good things I had with my girlfriend which made me tolerate her spiral downward. Once she realized she didn’t have that anymore, she made a change. Yours might not. And you have to accept that. You can’t fix someone who’s not ready to fix themselves.

    I wish you all the best. I hope you take care of yourself.