self-explanatory!!
The ability to stop pooping for three days.
You have to post about it online and keep the community updated on your progress, becoming the first widespread Lemmy meme
Each day you don’t poop, you lay an egg that hatches into a random monster. The egg is indestructible.
You already can – immodium
Or just some painkillers. I had surgery seven or eight years ago and I still remember how badly I wanted to shit by day three and it just wasn’t happening.
But when you eventually poop your in the middle of human a human centipede
I can reverse any moderator actions.
You’re an admin on reddit
Who modded a banned subreddit back in the days…
The ability to talk to animals
But only about collecting stamps.
Your already can talk to animals. We all understand you.
You can talk to animals, but it includes insects and birds… and you can’t shut their conversion out for some peace and quiet
Imagine going outside during spring. All animals are just yelling “I’M SO FUCKING HORNY!”.
You can talk to them but they can’t understand you.
This is just reality
You can talk to animals now. I think what you mean is you want them to be able to talk too.
you can talk to animals, but they don’t want to (they are very prejudiced)
Everytime you talk to an animal, every moving living being around you looks like the animal you talked to for the next 2 hours.
I can obtain any super power just by thinking about it.
The ability to think is lost
Damn. So, does that mean I just die?
When you have obtained your superpower, you lose your ability to obtain any new superpowers.
So I get to chose one super power, but I lose the ability to think so it renders any powers I’ve obtained essentially useless? Man, this js the most realistic super power conversation ever. So realistic it’s quite scary!
.
The ability to touch a book to instantly know its content.
Turns out, the books you touch are actually quite satisfied and content.
It only works if you touch it with your penis.
There are no downsides. Perfect.
but you must feel a paper cut from every single page of knowledge
Better print smaller then!
ooh, good thought! guess you could upload books and print them in nano-sized font
The title of the book appears somewhere on your skin, and if removed you will forget any knowledge from that book, whether you obtained it through reading or your power. The titles must be legible, and cannot overlap.
Every book you encounter will always be written in a language you don’t speak.
… but every page becomes blank just before you touch it.
The power to gain any superpower by submitting it as a comment to this thread, repeatable as many times as desired, keeping any power previously obtained unless explicitly commenting to void that power.
Lemmy.ml bans you.
Just this account?
The highest voted side effect applies for all powers obtained in this way.
The ability to find anything lost.
Everything you touch turns into a potato
What if the world turned into a potato ? The potatocalypse
read this with the kurzgesagt voice
ability to instantly know exact composition of a substance just by looking at it
deleted by creator
Or spelled out by Robert Loggia
Clear anyone of debt just by thinking it.
Their debt transfers to you.
And then to you…
And then to an orphan somewhere. You monster.
removal of debt happens by way of destruction of banking infrastructure. this may or may not be related to other harm
– this is actually how quite a lot of people got debts cleared on 9/11 (this was before offsite backups)
no downsides whatsoever
The debt alwaye gets randomly assigned to another person
OOF.
Carefully used this could still be worth it.
The ability to study, understand and use fantasy level magic.
you are still bound by laws of physics
magic is just physics we dont understand yet… think this could still work
if you want to lift something by telekinesis, you’d be just as tired, if not more, than if you used your hands. if you want to set something on fire by thought alone, you need to provide that initial energy somehow (like starting fire with bow drill). you’ll be drained just as much as after physical work
Now you see why the people at Hogwarts have a big feast every other day. And I don’t recall the more corpulent ones using that much magic
This is like saying you would be tired after lifting a pallet with a forklift. Many magic systems are about using magic in the world around you, which only requires you to understand how to use it; the energy being consumed doesn’t come from yourself.
This is so far the Best and evil side effect :D
Not the laws of chemistry, or biology?
I’m an immortal Alchemist!yeah, immortal if you know what you’re doing
VERY mortal if you don’t
Obeying all of the laws of physics, magic wouldn’t work at all. Assuming you were able to break a few but kept some such as conservation of energy, it would be very powerful, ex: teleportation does not break conservation of energy as long as you teleport to the same height you left from. If you were able to extract energy from your surroundings, you could probably do basically anything you want. You could lower the sun’s heat by a degree and be able to move a mountain.
let’s make it so that all energy used in magic comes from within the user and has to be supplied as food
This would be a fair limit. You would be limited by certain conservation laws, but as long as you would provide an adequate energy source (say, like Flash, you had to eat a lot more food) it could still be useful.
But it still only works if magic actually works and if it doesn’t, then you just understand really well how you would have used magic, if it were actually real.
The ability to read, write, and speak every language
granted. you can understand everything, but when you respond, you choose wrong (related, but not mutually intelligible) language every time
You become deaf and blind
It would be less efficient, but people who are deaf-blind can access the Internet and communicate using a refreshable Braille display. In-person they can communicate using an interpreter using a special sign language.
Power to turn things into gold by touch.
granted, this happens by actual nuclear transmutation. depending on what you touch you can get small to large explosions and the freshly formed gold is likely highly radioactive
Including your own body parts
Gold member!
Ambidexterity
You’re knock kneed and pigeon toed.
The ability to read another person’s thoughts by looking at them.
Granted, but your thoughts are transmitted to the person looking at you.
Is that a bad thing 😏
i am joining this myself. telekinesis
Terrible migraines whenever you use it
so if I already have a migraine I’m in the clear…
