• otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    8 days ago

    Aside from the likelihood of this outing my account, I once had a first date at a renowned noodle house in town, and the surprise rarity of the single table in the front window (converted Victorian, alcove). We order, make small talk, I think it’s going great — until movement in the corner of my right eye out the window draws me to watch, in the middle of her sentence, a full-grown adult male climb onto the hood of the parallel parked car and proceed to empty his thrice-cursed bowels onto it like he was putting out a chemical fire.

    I recall being unable to look away and catching her attention drift toward my view at the same time the waiter arrived with our lunches, only to table them with an “Uhm. Well.” and ghost.

    So, not exactly “at another table”, but the whole place has front row seats, so 🤷🏽‍♂️

    • bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net
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      8 days ago

      This only outs you if there’s a single incident of this ever across all of the Victorian noodle houses in America presumably, which I doubt is the case considering gentrification and such

      • Zahille7@lemmy.world
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        8 days ago

        It’s funny to me when people think Lemmy is like a small town.

        Like sure not many people use it relatively speaking, but that also means most people are going to be spread so far and wide that the chances of coming across someone in your town is extremely slim.

          • Zahille7@lemmy.world
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            7 days ago

            That’s a big building. I think the biggest apartment building in my city is maybe 100 units? Mine is only like 25.

        • dingus@lemmy.world
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          7 days ago

          This reminds me. Years ago as a teen I joined a relatively small forum. I got weirded the fuck out when someone on there happened to live in the exact same small town I did. I’ve moved across the country since then but we are still online friends lol.

      • trolololol@lemmy.world
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        8 days ago

        Usually I get annoyed at assuming a particular culture but this one is unequivocal. Muricans win this easy.

    • dingus@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      I’m so confused at the mechanics of this. He climbed on top of the hood? And then what on top of the hood? That seems like quite a feat and also very messy and also why??? I have so many questions, many of which only the shitting man could answer.