So here’s the thing, every time I try to move away from Facebook messenger I run into the same problem, nobody else in my friends or family actually want to use a secure, private messenger app like signal or telegram, my wife, my parents, my in-laws, my friends they’re ALL on Facebook and they will never take signal seriously enough to actually use it, it really bums me out that there are these far superior options but without anyone else using them they’re pointless…
Anyway what apps do you use to stay in touch with people?
Mandatory “don’t put Signal and Telegram in the same sentence” notice. Not to be a snob, but Telegram is not “secure and private”, all chats are not end-to-end encrypted by default, everything is stored on Telegram’s servers with “forever-ever” retention. The end-to-end encryption is opt in, uses a dodgy encryption algorithm and has some limitations in terms of who you can contact and from what device etc.
Telegram is owned by Pavel Durov who also created the largest Russian social media platform VK, which later was overtaken by Russian state as a tool for crowd control and propaganda. Even if we assume that Pavel no longer has any ties with Russia and its “government”, his biography should still raise at least some questions around whether one should trust Telegram.
And finally, Telegram seems to be going the “everything app” route lately, which makes it a one stop shop of personal communication, public channels, news, bots, stories etc. (you name it). While it is not a bad thing in objective terms, these features are not built with privacy in mind, as that would pose quite a technical challenge. This means that Telegram’s privacy and security will only be sacrificed more and more to get more of the social features out of the door.
/rant over/
I agree with every point. The last paragraph doesn’t have to be a problem though: telegram has very open and really nice APIs and enjoys a lot of FOSS 3rd party apps (only matched by matrix). Of course, we can only enjoy that as long the API usage is still free to use…
The last paragraph doesn’t have to be a problem though
It is not yet, but the trajectory implies it may become a problem down the road. We’re, sadly, living this decade, where you can no longer ignore where a certain service is heading and how it monetises itself.
I like to give Pavel the benefit of the doubt and assume he was not a willing participant when Russia took over VK. That said, it still happened, so what is to stop them from taking over Telegram too whether he is complicit or not?
My preference is Signal Private Messenger app, but like you, I have problems getting some friends and family to use it. So for the ones that won’t, I just use Chomp SMS for my texting app.
The trick is, 90% of all your messages are probably with the same 1-3 persons. (spouse, friend, family or whatever.)
So just install the Signal app for these 1-3 persons on their phones, and you already have most of your communication going via Signal 👌🏼
The 20-80 rules applies here. Anyway, that is a strategy that works for me too. The rest would be SMS. Sending files is links to my self hosted nextcloud.
That’s exactly how I do it. No way you can get your whole work group conversation over to something else, but the bulk is a smaller circle.
My issue with signal is that their desktop app sucks. No message sync, it needs the phone as a relay and it’s made with Electron.
Signal desktop is designed to be a stand alone app that uses the phone phone to first verify the connection via QR but after that relays messages, calls, erc direct from and to the server, inrependently of the phone app.
Did they change it recently or was I mistaken?
Mistaken
I think it was like that years ago. Or at least, it felt like it and if I recall correctly the Signal Protocol docs describe the functionality in that manner.
I got my family on Signal by buying them each a drink to install it. Might be worth trying
Whatsapp in general. Telegram with my wife. Messages with my kid.
Yeah I work on a similar system
WhatsApp in general Telegram for the wife Signal for the wife whilst one of us is working (with notifications on silent)
SMS for everything else.
It’s nice having things compartmentalized.
Why does wifey get her own app(s)?
Presumably because they want a higher degree of privacy / urgency when talking about their plans or the intimate details of their lives, sharing selfies or pics of the kids, fighting, flirting / sexting, and when sharing nudes, but OP doesn’t care about that higher degree of privacy for their friends who they don’t discuss those things with.
And the reason to have a separate app for work safe conversations only with her makes sense since it allows conversations to be nsfw without any extra worry (e.g., will I accidentally open this later when not at work? What if I think you’re off work already but you had to stay late to have a conversation with your boss?) or hassle.
And only having one app for everything else could be because he doesn’t have nsfw conversations there and thus can safely check them at work or because he doesn’t have important conversations there and thus doesn’t need to check them while at work. Or both.
That doesn’t sound annoying at all lol
I guess at some point the kids will get to Telegram (probably using a dumb phone at the moment?)
telegram isnt really save though, so you might want to not switch to it
Agreed. May best to get family and close friends on Signal right away. Telegram is horribly unsecure.
Similar here
It might not work for everyone, but my general advice is to go cold turkey. Inform your relatives that from now on they can contact you on Signal and then stop using FB. If they value keeping in touch with you, they will follow.
Meanwhile the relatives are potentially thinking “well I guess he doesn’t value keeping in touch with me”.
Yeah, they’ll just go.
Hey brother 1, please tell your hermit brother OP that we have a get together next week. 9pm, bring beer ok.
Yes but they would be wrong. Because they would be asking you to sacrifice your privacy for them, while you are only asking them for 30MB on their phones to install Signal
That’s exactly my point: let’s invert the scenario as there is no reason why we should be the ones compromising. The only objective difference is the privacy of the chosen application. Even if this would be equal too, we have just a much right to demand a specific protocol as they do.
I could never do that lol. I barely care enough to talk to people and even I’d feel a little alone/I don’t like inconveniencing people. I do use Telegram for some people, but Signal is just used by nobody I know.
I use Signal, Element (Matrix), built in SMS with grapheneOS, and I self host MatterMost.
I tried Threema, but getting people to move was more difficult than Signal
Signal >>>>>>>> WhatsApp > texting > Telegram >>>>>>> Messenger.
I’d put iMessage above WhatsApp, as long as it’s iMessage to iMessage.
Signal is wonderful.
Just another reason to not have friends. No need to worry about messages and people getting funny because you 😱 reply to them straight away! 😎
Is it wrong to only miss not having friends when I need a hand lifting up something? 😳 I really need to buy a remote controlled crane! 🤔
wait, you guys have got friends?
Whatsapp for the people I can’t get to move to Signal, which sadly is everyone in my family. I hate having the zuck all up in my messaging though.
My choice of app is entirely based on what the contact uses.
Most of my family are on iOS so we use native iMessage and FaceTime.
I have a small group of friends that almost exclusively use discord.
Older non-iOS friends tend to use WhatsApp, younger ones Telegram.
Signal if possible, WhatsApp if not. I’m also trying out Session, but it’s still very much work-in-progress.
Matrix
This would’ve been what I used if I could get anyone else to use it too.
- Signal (most friends and family)
- WhatsApp (exactly the same group plus a small handful WA-only people)
- XMPP (literally just my wife and I totally didn’t make her use it)
I use telegram and signal for different purposes and people.
I’m surprised no-one mentioned XMPP/Snikket nor matrix. Both platforms are FOSS, selfhostable and thus gives you total control over your means of communication. Check them out if you’re curious (I prefer matrix, but snikket is more lightweight and easier to selfhost).
